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Published on Tuesday, Apr 25th 2006.
Once again I have another driver. When the hell are they going to give me just one? This time it s some cuban guy who s name escapes me. He s a cool guy considering he s from Hialeah and all. So we were cruising for chicks Hialeah style. The driver swore that he was a South Beach Pimp so me and Jmac had a good laugh at his expense. All of a sudden we spot this little B-Girl walking around. We honked, and she stopped to talk. I don t know what the hell I told her, something about the Gap. She started to tell me this bogus story on how she was trying to break dance in a rappers video. Once I heard that ridiculous story I knew she was the catch of the day. I told her that I do documentaries on interesting people and that she would do since nobody interesting was around. She was hooked when she heard there was money involved. I made her battle Baby-D in break dancing and she couldn t dance for shit. The girl was beaten by a doll for goodness sakes. I suspect she was a post spring break drifter that needed to get back to Kansas or Ohio or something. On the bus I was hearing her whole boring life story and she mentioned that she was a stripper. Jmac and I were in a frenzy. All you have to do to have sex with a desperate stripper is offer them more money (She isn t getting a dime anyway). This girl had a banging body. Her tits where nice and perky. Her pussy was a smooth camel toe. Jmac did the deed with great enthusiasm. He was all up in that pussy! Post sex, we wanted to go eat so we asked her if she could grab some food for us. She was happy to do so since she thought she was going to get double of what we initially offered her. Needless to say that was the last time I saw Jack. I could still remember her face getting smaller and smaller into the distance. -Dirt